The last thing I wanted, ever, was for this blog to become a pity-party or a dumping ground for vents and personal frustrations. I think I've been pretty damn successful at this, partly by keeping to the integrity of the blog and commitment and personally, with the start of the Light Body training I developed a finer sense of my personal states of being. That said, this is somewhat of a venting... I recognize that it may be a lot less severe than what you expect, so maybe I'll call it "the process."
I believe the blog and I grew up together a bit. So today when I woke to more frustrating news about the car I did not lose my cool, I remained centered, called clients, and adjusted into the new flow of things... and a 40 minute walk with Miss Trixie, my wonder pup. A little fresh air, a dogs love, a cup of coffee and a lot of walking is sometimes the best magick.
As I walked I asked my source to help define with greater clarity what it was that was causing such stark shifts in my reality. I mean at this point, working daily at my intentions into the 8th month of the Year of the Lover's, shouldn't I be where I intended? Realistically I know that a life of magickal living does not do away with all problems, but dammit these are hefty bits to work with at the moment
This got me thinking. First I have spoken to a friend about my current run of Karma and he has offered to run a chart for me to see what is transiting in my life at the moment because it all is a little dark and heavy. And I got that with my question this morning. I can go into a trance state fairly quickly with zero aid except maybe for the rolling clouds or clear space where I can un-focus my attention on the outside world. It's taken years of practice, and it's my preferred modus operandi, but sticking to topic I opened myself up and asked my question, "what does this mean? Help me to define with greater clarity."
Immediately an image rose into my mind, which I am working on, of deep ocher and almost black, browns, slashed through with this brilliant white, yellow and pastel, as if light was shooting from the sky and into a dark place, into the much, and the earth. My source said to me, "no lotus in the light without roots in the dark and the muck."
You know I want to smack myself sometimes when I get answers like this but they are what they are and so are worth investigating. Without getting up on a virtual podium and launching myself into a list of things that includes the denial of the dark, the wisdom of the unseen, and "life is not all puppies and rainbows."
I will leave the note here that I believe there are many mysteries on the inner planes that cannot be entered, many hedges that cannot be crossed if one comes from a "everything is light" perspective. It doesn't mean that I focus on negative circumstances either, but it is the recognition of a balance in living, which shows that endings are as much a part of life as beginnings, and recognizes my seasons, as in nature, and death as a part of life, and "struggle" as the terrain for growth.
Must be a lot of "growing" going on around here. *wink*
Message in the Cards
Tarot as a mirror of the soul sometimes we get exactly what we want and other times we get what we need. And this in some senses is the sword that cuts both ways as well, if you think about it, somewhere along the line of success, through interrelation there is a struggle going on in your success.
And for the record I want to mention that "success" for me is more than just accumulation of wealth in fact I've evolved my original chants to include the following:
"The Path of Awareness. The Year of Fulfilled Living."
Originally I had written my affirmations for a more luxurious manifestation, and I include that in my morning ritual of rising and meditation but I added the words awareness and fulfilled living to resonate with a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day, my "aah!"
So yes, all that above and then I came home to pull some cards. I needed the lengthened meditation on these things. I drew three cards:
Eight of Cups - Lord of Abandoned Success + Five of Wands - Lord of Strife + The Hierophant (R)
My first response: Abandoning the success of your goal before an achievement mark due to strife in your life, this does not represent the teachings and knowledge you have accumulated up until now.
Looking deeper into some of the meanings of the cards I see...
Eight of Cups
as "Abandoning a hopeless situation" - Say what?!- or fact seeking, personal discovery, and looking for the truth. "Some changes can be wearying. Endings are not always easy. One of the signs of a readiness to leave is lack of energy. When you feel tired and dispirited, you know that something is wrong, and it's time for a new direction. Reexamine your life and your priorities. You will find where in your life you need to move on." (LearnTarot.com
)Five of Wands
one could interpret as "everything is getting in the way" or at some sort of crossing of your efforts, "nothing is coming together right" and thus "strife." It is also a bunch of people with their own aims, or "too many directors and not enough workforce."
The Hierophant reversed highlights the trouble with a lack of insight by the group and so that could mean that the people you are working with on a set goal may not know where you are coming from, or do not see (or refuse to see) what you are doing and so the above mentioned strife and hopelessness is problematic. And maybe concerned less with spirituality and more with practicality. There's that message again. I find myself also thinking that the Hierophant in reverse in this situation could be needing to educate, represent, or explain better what your aim and goal is.
Hmm... food for thought. Expanding definitions, exposing deeper truths.
As a message from Soul to Soul I hear, Refine the message or method, practice more = mastery, it is hard to hear but maybe the time is not just yet right to realize the big goal because there are things here that need fine tuning like listening, understanding, and hope.
What is your take on the cards? If you were asking about your goal and you pulled the three above, what would you draw from the Tarot as meaning?
Regarding the Tarot images above:
I'd like to thank the "Ladies" up north (you know who you are) for the fine stones and shells that came out of the Summer Solstice celebration at the beach, that I missed, and my dad for listening to his intuition when the sword flashed across his computer screen while surfing the web. Both are present in today's cards for a few reasons but mainly because they encompass more of the incredible love and support that I have in my life. And this brings a lot of light to me, a lot of love to my heart.
I hope all is well. Blessings to you on your journey.
Oh and PS: Thank you Delia and others for taking my crazy texts when I did 'pop' out of a bag with bad news. :) <3