Coming back to the blog after these last few months I am wordless with a mild case of writers block. Blinking cursor, blank page, wide-eyed at 6:00 am. As you will read I found my way through the wall and into words, somewhat poetic but I prefer this kind of writing over more utilitarian means because I think a little wondering about the feel of words goes a lot farther in inspiring me to contemplate. I'd rather wax in a little wonder than wan under someones directive about when and how I should do a thing. Story is a better teacher.
I hope you get something from this. Welcome back to The Journey, now at The Sacred Other.
From December 21, 2012 I received a strong intention for clarity. The winter solstice has this windy and bright effect on my mind with the light coming from so much closer to the horizon, even here in Los Angeles, that the color of things changes. I can only imagine the short-lived days of the far north, where the sun only peeks at us from the horizon in Alaska, or Reykjavik.
The air still has this crisp quality to it as well. I suppose someone in cooler parts of the world might snicker at what we call cold in LA but like most places in the world the barometer has swung wildly and we are having a strong winter here in southern California.
Cold air and horizontal light, a somewhat disjointed release of the mumbo-jumbo about the Mayan Apocalypse passing, and fostering the end of winter colds here at home I spent my solstice quietly vegetating and even meditating on clearing myself of mental clutter and emotional stagnancy.
"As the energy came through in meditation this year I felt the message for me, was one to become clear. Take a moment before the holiday and center yourself, run the energy through you body from the feet up through the root and all the energy centers, out the crown and back down around. Feel all the energy of your life and with your breath take in light and release the concerns and expectations. Let it go. It does not mean it is gone from your life but it is, for a moment, not held in the mind, or by the emotions.
I want you to take in that peace and stillness."
~ Scott KS
Before I go forward with anything else I don't want anyone to think that I believe the 12.21.12 date had anything to do with some galactic alignment, or any other who-ha about ascension or entering a new dimension.
Yes, I said "who-ha," even tho I do have a faith in things seen and unseen, there is a line where fantasy and faith blur, the space between widened with play but it's a delicate place to entertain because one can easily lose focus and fall into the realm of dreams and lose sight of real vision.
If you could see my face I am saying this with a small smile. I prefer other words when I say this but I respect the idea of "co-creation." I've come to recognize that my perspective, belief if you will, is but one of billions of people on the planet and as much as may cringe at some of the more frightful and barbaric practices of people and their systems of belief, ones I hope will change, I do know they play a part in the greater turning of the wheel of life and so do have some effect on our lives. We're in this together those of us who cooperate for a better world, those of us who live uncaring, and those who seek to oppress others.
I'm going to dance along a high wire here, look up that's me with one eye open in a white tutu and a parasol. May I keep focus, balance and breath. I'm working towards peace in myself with these things and that must make for allowances, a learning curve where compassion is concerned.
Yes. Coming out of the holiday retreat and entering the social world [for me] created an educational retrospective on the power of stillness. An inverted meme about looking within and the need to be a part of the intimate world around me. A classic paradox of the Fool where one never needed to leave on that little adventure, but did need the journey in the end to come to the understanding that the answer was within myself.
This of course came together about new things.
Lifencompass.com is gone. I graduated in November from school. Our lease is up at home and we are looking for a new home in the new year. I recognize I am framing things however unconsciously around new beginnings around the new year.
I gather myself, as we all do, for that open door as best I can.
There are three things that I think are necessary when starting off fresh and new. We're in "new years" mode suddenly with the various holidays ending and we stumble from costumes in October into feasts and family through November, than into gifts and holy days in December, and finally (often drunkenly) into streamers and Auld Lang Syne with some fervent hopes for a better new year mouthed in determined voices how the next year will be different.
Leo cusp Virgo thinks, it all sounds so messy.
A personal lesson is learned.
Returning from my trip north I came home to my partner sick with a pretty nasty flu that turned into bronchitis. I continually fought and held the personal war front with only giving in a few feet to the flu bug that debilitated Brandon. I had some body ache, minor fever, head ache, nausea, stiffness, and swelling in my throat. This prevented me from taking in any massage or energy work clients. With as much grace as I could muster I would waddle downtown to get medicines, juice, food, and walk our darling puppy Trixie. Being the less sick of the two confers a level of responsibility to get the things done that need doing.
This is where the meditation begins, forced isolation so as not to infect friends, family, and children during the holidays.
Believe me I wanted to go out and see the Hobbit, make happy faces at Christmas presents, and hug family and friends but physically and monetarily it just wasn't possible. This is where the opportunity for clarity came into to focus. I can't say that when I sat down to meditate that being clear was my intention, it was more a mix-bag of catch up on my mediation program and self-healing work. I leave wiggle room in my inner space for surprises.
I did not recognize the focus that came of that until today as parts of the deeper meaning in my down time began to push though the surface and worm their way out into the light. Sometimes processes show themselves over time and trump traditions that we may choose to stick to simply because we have used them in times past. I have felt the pull to do several things, and I know that means I should and will listen to that calling, but my level of enthusiasm was a bit dimmed then. I unconsciously stuck to what I think are core processes.
Clear. Focus. Breathe.
First lesson was in retrospect. With down time I had nothing better to do than turn inward. A little memory inside stirred up a conversation, something from the past which I had with a little sister back, "use your strengths."
My strength is Magick and faith, and that begins within.
That clarity now evoked I had a new focus. My mind unburdened with the details for a moment the strength of seeing the path, even if it isn't the way, the next step is good enough. My inner world firms and purpose returns as awareness blossoms. Not thinking, these thoughts are the surface of that awareness, leaves on a stream floating above the deeper knowing that is the river of being.
Eckhart Tolle speaks of this in his work, most recently featured in the Sounds True freebie which I got by signing up for their newsletter. That meditation is here [LINK] in the Weekly Wisdom newsletter. I practiced a walking meditation listening to him softly work his Magick, thoughts falling into the water of awareness. Yes I am this awareness and centered in this the fears and hopes around the future give way to the present light.
Breathe in and out. Inhale, and exhale.
Real Magick is a core strength of awareness, concentration, and allowing that river to flow revealing the bend and course of my life. Illustrating the bend at the river's edge, knowing my boundary at the moment, feeling where things turn, how the tide eddies and whirls before moving on. Intuition flashes and, in sensing the current, I learn when and how I can act with the best measure for results.
I come away with a reminder to get clear, refine focus, and breathe Magick into that awareness to create change. Meditation provides the space and concentration, breath work is part of the process regulating the body/mind and empowering the awareness and goal.
I am heading into the new year primed for new things and I can only offer this suggestion for things to come. Go inside yourself. Clear the way for new things, focus on your deeper awareness, and breathe life into that being. You may not find the solution to your problems but you will start fresh with eyes open if you allow it, to begin the new year with a renewed focus on you, your real ambition, and the energy necessary to take the next step.
It's up to you to make that movement forward.
I think there is also something to be said in regards to that rivers flow, and how small we are within it. A lot of real things happened this December, known and unknown, that have effected us. Speaking of those who would oppress it's good to remember who we are and how tenacious and yet fragile we all are. Our lives are short and probably because of this so full of things to do with living. It's easy to slip into dark places. I don't mean this with any irreverence to what is unknown, that potential of all things in the sea of un-manifest, I mean our shadows both personal and collective.
And if we are in a "shift" as some would like to suggest, not that I am putting up resistance, I think there are some things to consider about the age and all the parts that come together to create that bigger thought bubble. You see if we are leaving the age of the Pisces, or the one and entering Aquarius, the collective then it's sort of anti-age to believe that a top down spiritual shift is occurring because the shift would be about people transforming in their own way, an energy "shifting" when we reach a point, a critical mass.
Times of solstice are times of light, when we gather together to share that light in our rituals, homes, and communities. Gather that light to yourself and share it. We need to worry less about "powerful changes" and start to make the changes ourselves because the world needs more sensible, less erratic and rude, less emotionally driven to rage, and hate, and excess, and more emotional flow and mental fluidity. More compassion, more reason, more hand holding and walking... no flying across invisible divides to restore tribe, community, and the nature that is connection.
We have better things to do with our time, energy, ultimately our thoughts, than worry about doomsday and hide from darkness..
Speaking of the Hobbit at the start of my post I wrote a shortened version of this for the Facebook page a few weeks back.
End times focus = living in Mordor. We are not under the eye of Sauron, we are under the ill auspices of climate destruction created by human consumption, rooted in disconnection from the natural world. That connection recreated again when we root back into the rhythm and flow.
Return to nature because that disconnect brings about a certain madness, an inner loss that we can't fill unless we bring ourselves back in touch with nature, our nature, the awareness that brings to light our true being. Burn the ring (doomsday, or shadow of doubt) in the fiery depths of Mordor, cast it into the light of consciousness, embrace life's' pain and joy. Embrace light and love.
I'm hoping that everyone takes the moment to start anew in 2013.
- Lifencompass... erm, I mean TheSacredOther (thesacredother.com)
- Winter Solstice - The Power of Aligning with Your Own Truth (virgomagic.com)
- Going with this meditation for the winter solstice... (lifencompass.tumblr.com)
- Lifencompass: On Maya 2012 (lifencompass.tumblr.com)
- Happy Holidays! (createyourhealth.com)
- New Year Restart Meditation (ordinarymeditations.blogspot.com)
- Facebook fan page message:I've been traveling this last... (lifencompass.tumblr.com)