If you haven't guessed it, I skipped a posting in the Tarot Journey. The last card was "Fear" / The Five of Swords and I had a little run through the underworld with that pulling, attunement, and message. That is to say, in meditating on Fear it should hardly be surprising that the shadows of the self come out when I call them. I did some private journaling and when I was ready I turned the card. I guess I'm on a pointed path because I pulled the swords again, this time the Two of Swords, which felt less like the traditional meaning and more like the subtitle of the card itself, "The Crossing", or a transition. Rather than the two swords blocking the heart of the significator they were creating the means for passage through the balancing of energies, mental and emotional.
The Two of Swords can be a balancing or even neutralizing force. The old symbology of a woman, blindfolded, swords crossing her breast can seem dark but looking again the woman is blindfolded because she does not want to see anything but her own way... or maybe she is looking within. Swords are across her heart because her heart is closed or guarded. The mind is saying the heart has been and will be hurt again, guard it, keep it closed.
Yet that is the spirit of the moment, a perspective of pain.
The spirit of the Tarot is asking that while we are looking within, to be aware that we have shut the doors in order to feel, to go within and seek the answer so that we can wake up from whatever stalemate or stagnation we have trapped ourselves in. Admittedly that state serves a purpose at points in our life, to give distance, to provide space so that one can be separate from a life situation and see the truth of things.
Thus the crossing or passage begins.
For me personally I felt two insightful "pings". The meaning of "we are here to live our passions" and "if I am not living my life, then who's life am I living?". Two strong messages aligned with my current meditation, The Journey. Honestly in the last 14 days, this has been the question.
About two weeks ago a friend and somewhat of an icon in Downtown Los Angeles spent some time with me on the couch at the Rowan talking about life and living, prayer and purpose. It was an uplifting conversation and at the end of the sitting I was given a little task of emailing 10 things I was passionate about to my friend.
One week later I had down in my creative space and tailored my list of 10 things. The list ran the gamut of topics from my love of reading, cooking, healing, and yes even video games. It took about an hour to put together but I'm quite proud of it. I composed a semi-professional email and *click* sent.
An interesting thing happened along the way. My friends request of passions had an affect, intended or not, and got brain churning around the thought process, one I am all to familiar with, "what am I doing at this job when that *points* is my passion?"
I know some of you can nod your head. Some others could very well say, "Scott we've had this conversation before." It's true. I have found myself in this place more than a few times, asking this same question. It's old karma and I know it but that is the reason why I began this journey of the Tarot again. To ask these questions, to find my answers, to go forward into the darkness of being with two torches and a wreathe of laurels and ask for peace and purpose.
Sure the luxury of this position allows for a steady pay check and medical insurance but aside from morning meditation, the blog and some committed clients, the bulk of my day is spent at a business and office not my own.
Undoubtedly I share many of my talents and gifts each day at the office, so it's not a total wash. I've read clients, shifted energy at meetings, set up a crystal grid, brought in Essential Oils and diffusing, provided Reiki... hey wait!
Is this no living my passion? Am I not using my skill, that which I enjoy? Yes, but it's not exactly on the mark.That is where I have been reminded. If I believe in what I do, and I want to follow, and have faith in what I know the Gods / Universe have given me to work with then it my duty to myself to make sure that I am forging ahead and making the most of it, each day.
I've been blessed with many gifts a long the way, most recently the work with Nancy Stenn that is beginning with Not-Two.com, the distance healing, marketplace and forums that will develop. It's a fun, big new step for me and Im looking forward to more.
Sunday was a new moon. A lunar new year and the beginning of the Year of the Tiger. It was also Valentine's Day, and today is President's Day. I feel like it some sort of cosmic line up of things but if it is, it's a meeting between our human celebrations and the natural celebrations. Maybe I want to make something out of nothing, and that's probably true. :)
We're off to get our newest family member Beatrix "Trixie" Octavia her last round of shots. Yeah, she's that cute little black as midnight Pomeranian - Maltese mix of love that's been barking, and bouncing around the house.
– - – - Scott K Smith
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